Taking Back Someday

bring your Someday dreams into your today

Click Click goes thoughts…

on December 16, 2015

The binge goes on… This week I have been working out! Yay me, Saturday after the weight lifting and Zumba, I went back for arms and Zumba last night. I still however am feeling SO STRESSED and eating out of control. It’s still so ironic that I know the genesis of the binge eating and over eating is my way to control things and its the most out of control thing in my life. What’s up with that? This morning I realized that when I am in this sort of who cares mode about eating, I just don’t plan anything. It starts with a gradual slide and eventually just zero planning and zero thought to what I will eat that day. When I am what I will call “on track” every single thing is planned and I do believe that’s the best chance for success in changing this habit but sometimes it’s so mentally exhausting to plan and think about food all the time. Especially times like right now where I feel like I am barely hanging in at work and overwhelmed and can’t think about another freaking thing! Yesterday I know I resorted just to numbing out because work was stressing me out so much. I even told one of my people that I was “eating these freaking m and m’s because I just need to right now before I run out of the building screaming”. Considering that very morning I sort of mentioned how I notice a theme in her stories about how fun and alcohol are recently linked, I thought, ohh snap you hypocrite.

I want to snap out of it. Today I bought a Quest bar and ate it for breakfast. I bought two technically so hopefully the second one stays in my drawer and I already ordered a salad for lunch. I have no reason at all to go to the food trucks, the overpriced grab and go market in the break room or visiting the desks I know have Holiday candy and crap on them.

I need to THINK about my food. It’s always the same slide. First you do go ahead and track your off track food, then you just don’t give a care for a few days, weeks, months, until you look down and you gained 20 pounds.

Girl, stop doing this to yourself. Considering the stress you already feel about work and the house and wanting to figure some things out, Love yourself enough to not Stress over Abusing your body by using it as a trash heap. I love you Lady. Now as Dr. Laura would say- Go Take on the Day!

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