Taking Back Someday

bring your Someday dreams into your today

Weekend update and randomness

on December 14, 2015

This weekend I went to the Zumba studio I had tried out last year but decided I just didn’t want to pay that much per month for a class my gym teaches for $10.00 a month. Plus it’s not close to me, out of the way really.

However what I did discover was I didn’t LIKE the Zumba class at the gym, I liked the ones taught by this teacher. So I had a bit of an internal struggle with cheap ass me and just bought the dang monthly pass. If I don’t go, I have wasted money but I DID go and enjoyed it. Before Zumba there was a total body strength class he had set up. I have really been wanting to do something so even while the negative nagger in my head said, it’s only one day a week of strength training, I gave her some chocolate to distract her (more on that coming) and went, thinking two hours of work out might be a little much.  I don’t know WHY my body gets SO sore but it does. I mean all my body hurts and I didn’t even really get to do some of it, like push ups on a Bosu ball. Squats on the ball mostly I just balanced my butt on the thing and tried not to fall for the minute. Still I am just so sore everywhere. I don’t really know if that’s normal but that’s how it has always been for me. The Zumba was fun and I would have gone yesterday afternoon, but they didn’t have class because of a Zumba Charity event they were doing somewhere.

So- Score for the week, committing to it and going. Now it really isn’t convenient and I am hoping to go tomorrow after work. I would go on Wed too but the girl who teaches it, it’s not something I enjoy doing. She has an amazing body and her class is fun and high energy but it’s like she works out and you can work out with her if you are there. She doesn’t really “teach” and it’s just too hard for me right now. Tomorrow I think there is a 30 minute strength training bottom half class too.

Right now I am really struggling with my eating and binges. I am really unhappy with work right now and some changes and I know this is my coping. I weighed in and to hell with my 234 weigh gone forever and also my 236 that I never wanted to see again. I weighed at 236.5. It is disappointing. I had already given myself permission to maintain my weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas so I’m not grief stricken except for the bingey feelings of eating out of craziness and coping instead of ohh yes I do enjoy an eggnog latte during the Holiday. Those who struggle with food issues know the difference.

I am trying to do all the things I know to do when those things occur.I need to practice my EFT tapping more but in those moments I don’t WANT to tap and not eat the food, I WANT to eat the freaking food. So, I hope for prayers and good energy that I will want to do the tapping instead. Because I want to be a healthy person. A Healthy person who can get through a strength training session and not limp for two days. I don’t want to fall into New Years Resolutions but I really want to get my mind ready to make some real changes next year.

I am a really blessed person. I know this and I really hope that can keep my focus on my blessings and not try to just avoid it all and numb it out.

 

 

 

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